Ei MOViNG ON

ei i would be lying if i say that I am happy now. But I know it's time for me to move on. it's hard and painful. but it's what i should do to avoid getting hurt again. i just didn't expect to get here. i guess i've always thought you could make me happy. but i'm done pretending things are okay between us. im over feeding my brain great things about you just so i don't decide to end whatever we had. but what we had was all that was there for you. you didn't want a future with me at all, and because of that i feel like crap. im no good. im not good enough to be your so called "girl." so this is my goodbye and that im moving on. once again, i am hurt. and once again, i am stronger.

Ei DES SCREAMS FOR H E L P !

ei im usually not a praying woman, but if you are up there, please save me, SUPERMAN!

Ei PAST iS PAST

ei i really think that people should put their past on the side. Bringing it back just makes it a lot harder to move on. I mean, this is my personal thought. It's good that you look back and think so that you will be more prepared for situations that require you to be strong(er). But focus on the present. The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.

Ei WHAT iF?

ei how do you express things you say when you're afraid? When you're scared that it will damage what you have. That it will ruin the "relationship"? Do you just move on life pretending there is absolutely nothing in your mind bugging you? Or do you say things out loud? Do you speak your mind? What do you do?

ei and when you do say what you want to say. What happens if it doesn't come out good? What if something that starts out well slowly fades away because of that? What happens if that becomes the reason something so good ends? Yea, what happens?

Ei LAMBANOG NiGHT

ei last night was awesome. i just went to watch my friend's, RYAN bball game at cal Poly. i went with PiA &LiZ. the game ended, we went to jack for some food. dropped off LiZ then went to my friends apartment. there was me, PiA, RYAN, JAMES, JORDAN, CJ (?). talked outside, ate our food from jack, had a great laugh about my life/death tatoo. haha. then JAMES suggested we should take some shots of his Lambanog, its a Filipino Coconut Wine with 45%alcohol. So we did. I only had a few shots, but the boys had a lot. PiA had to leave early that night. she had plans for the rest of the evening. but i stayed to kick it with the guys. since i had some shots, i said everything that was in my head. i remember singing loud, giving PiA a lapdance, talking about random shit. haha. we even played truth or dare with dirty questions. &boy i loved it. haha. i found out a lot of things from the men's perspective. haha. RYAN &his threesome with JORDAN. whoa. that was hilarious. haha. Next thing you knew, it was after 3am. RYAN had to leave. i honestly couldn't drive cause i had such a headache. so dumb. so i stayed &crashed there for the night. man, i wish for more nights like that. great times, great times :D

ei so now im home. its Friday todaii. Yay! Hookah with KiM, CODY &EARViN later. then PAM's party with Hawaiin theme. looking forward to it!

Ei A CUT ON MY LiP &PARKiNG TiCKET

ei went to the park with my girl friend, PiA
5 other friends came later on
RYAN, GLENN, JAMES, JEFF &JORDAN
we were there for about an hour or two
fed the ducks, talked, chilled, we had some alcohol =)
played ninja! haha. it was awesome
then we went on our separate ways (haha)
got ready to hit a bar in downtown fullerton
met up with them at Florentines
tagged along PiA's cool friends KEViN &JERRY
waited in line for an hour (my 1st time waiting)
got in. danced. got some drinks
danced more, JAMES hit my lip, ouch. haha
it was an accident people! lol
bled for a lilttle bit, went outside for air
got back in. danced. RYAN got us drinks (thank you!)
danced some more. left the bar
dropped off people, went to crest
ended up sleeping there. but didn't plan to
was gonna leave after 5am
went to say bye to JAMES
he pulled me in the bed,
&i fell asleep. next thing i know,
it was almost 12 noon! ggaahh
haha. said bye to everyone.
walked to my car
got a parking ticket for parking half way on the red line
yea yea i know. parking was horrible
but blah. im not gonna let it ruin my day
or my week. life goes on =)

ei so, good day everyone! haha

Ei PiLiPiNO AMERiCAN CULTURAL NiGHT

ei during the day, i spent about an hour or two at ontario mills mall with KiM looking for her prom dress. oh my. she tried few dresses on and she looked so beautiful, just like always. she found the dress she wanted and we headed back to my house. late on that night, we saw this long ass play performed by Cal Poly students. it was great. it was probably the longest play i've ever seen, but it kept me entertained. so it was worth it. my friend DAViD was the main character. he did a really great job! thumb's up!!! so anyway, the show pretty much ended a little after 11pm. we chatted with people outside, met cool new people and then left. me &kim met up with pia at their house. ate dinner. then me &pia went to hang out with our friends, ROBERT, ALEX and this guy we just met last night, RYAN. we ended up spending the night ove since it was about 4 in the morning and we were too sleepy to drive back home. came home this morning. and today, it's PACQUiAO and HATTON's fight. go pacman! haha. goodluck :D

Ei WE RAN OVER A cat ='(

ei today i hung out with my great friends: DANTAE, BRiANNA, LiZ AND KEViN! it was awesome. we first went to Bonelli Park in San Dimas. spent about an hour there. That park is huge and beautiful. Then we went to Kevin's house. We waited with him while he waits for his brother to come home so we can leave an watch a movie. We took Liz home. got back at kevin's and left. on our way to the movie theatre, on LA PUENTE ROAD, we ran over a cat. it was an accident. Kevin was driving! there were two cats. the first one was the one we focused on just cause it was the first one we saw. so cat #1 was running on the road, as we tried avoiding it (and we did), we swerve to the right and bam, cat #2 popped out of nowhere. huhu. it almost made me cry! so anyway, went to the movies and saw obsessed with Beyonce. and then we also saw Wolverine (midnight showing). i met up with my good old friend, JiMMY for that movie. it was great seeing him again. movie ended, and we drove back home. now its almost 5 in the morning and i am really fuckin sleepy. so goodnight!

Ei A DRUNK/CRAZY NiGHT

ei so last night i was just home all day until later the day when my friend, KiM, hit me up. i wasn't ready to go out, so i offered her to come over. so she did. i got ready, she got ready and we then we went to get yogurt. yuumm. we had jack in the box too. then my friend, DAViD said he was gonna come by where we were. so we met up. and he was with STEVEN &ViCTOR. we all went to meet PiA and head to DAMiAN'S house. got some drinks and started the drinking. it wasn't a party at all. it was more of a chill night we got to talking. and the next thing you know, me and pia got drunk. hahaha. it was a blast. it was really fun. thank goodness those guys were there. they are definitely our hero. haha. they took really good care of us. great night, wish to have more of this to come =)

Ei WEEKEND WiTH MY SiSTERS, COUSiNS &FRiENDS

ei oh my it was a great weekend. i can't remember a weekend that went better than this one in a while. saturday night we went to TERRACE BAR to see my cousin's/friends' band play. it was bomb. i almost lost my voice screaming and cheering for them. haha. great job panzies! lol. had some drinks, danced and just had lots of fun. then we left the bar and hit up dennys for some good breakfast. haha. it was like 2:30 in the morning. lol. there was at least 25 people in our party. haha. then went home. the next day, went to my lil cousin's birthday party just to eat. haha. oh and did some karaoke. lol. then we went to RA sushi/bar later the night to celebrate my sister's birthday. it was the longest wait of my life. haha. not really. but we waiter for hours. it was worth it. drinks were so cheap and so was sushi =) went home... saw my good old friend CHAD. caught up and hanged out. Now im home getting ready to bRing my sister to the airport.

ei so that was my weekend. great times.

Ei EASTER DAYY

ei got up 2 in the afternoon
got ready to see the family
went to my aunt's house
played egg hunting with lil cousins
hosted sack race game with family
even 50+ ages parents played
left my aunt's house
hung out with cousins (that are around my age)
smoked hookah for 3 hours
met up with about 7 other friends
gave digits just cause (haha)
drove cousins home
got home &now doing this
&watching never back down
&sitting on the couch with my dogs
blah i dont wanna end the night yet

Ei iCE SKATiNG ACCiDENT

oh my. it was bad. so bad. me &my friends went ice skating tonight. i didn't know how to skate, this was the 3rd time ive skate in my entire life. 3 of my friends kind of knew how, but nothing like pro status. we were having fun. were at least skating for about an hour now, then my friend iVAN fell. he fell on his face. yes, on his face. busted his 2 front teeth. well, originally, 2 front teeth both cut off in half. one of the halves came off while the other stayed hanging with the other half. sounds confusing, i know. we didn't know what to do. the place didn't have a clinic or anything like that. we called a friend who's Mom is a dentist. we brought ivan there &they pulled out both of the teeth completely. so iVAN was 2 front teeth LESS. this sounds funny yet very sad. so i think he's in pain but he handles it really well. iVAN, YOU'RE THE MAN! really, if i was him, id be crying like crazy. well, i sure hope you feel better.

okay, so after all this, we went to smoke hookah (without iVAN now) so we can relax. cause we were all worried about iVAN. met up with friends, CODY, EARViN &PARiS. So it was me, KiM, MARiEL &those guys. but they didn't stay for a long time at all. so me &the girls were left at the hookah bar. it was chill.

hopefully iVAN feels better. we love him!

Ei FRiENDS WiTH SPRiNG BREAK. YAY!

went swimming at my house, got to hang out with LAMBERT who i don't see very often. swimming was awesome. it was cold, but it was great. lots of laughter. the boys broke the vacuum thingy or something to clean the pool. haha. gotta replace that. my friend PATRiCK even hung out with us, which i thought was so cool. haha. we went bowling after everyone took a shower at my house. freakin PATRiCK who said he barely bowls was such a pro. he was getting strikes non stop. im so jealous. haha. then we went to MARiEL'S house were KiM met up with us. We watched 7pounds, it was really good. drove EARViN &PARiS home. slept over a friend's house and now, here i am back home getting ready again for another night out. hollywood tonight babyy. hopefully it'll be a good night.

Ei JUST ANOTHER BOY

Last night, we went to Fontana for a friend's family/close friends gathering for his birthday. it was chill. i got to see an old friend of mine, EMCAY. we ate, played pool, talked, just chill. then we went back home. smoked hookah in pomona &bamm. this dude i was supposedly "seeing" did a shotgun with another girl. right in front of me. ouch right? i know, i know. but it's life. he left early &i think i heard them over talking about going to his house &hanging out, with that other girl. another ouch. man, why do i always go for those type of guys. but it's life, shit happens, we face it &move on... but the night ended really good. after hookah, we went at my house, drank a little. watched, Vacancy. drove friends home. then it was 7 in the morning, friends were still over. they went home aroundn 9 when i had to get ready for church. it's my friends spring break this week, so im looking forward spending more time with them. yay!

ei random yet awesome day

Slept over the Inocencio's house, woke up early, drove Kim to the post office to pick up her awesome Polaroid Camera, dropped her off at school, Sean came to my house, went to my kick boxing class then got ready for the rest of the day... During the day I ate at Yoshinoya with my friends Earvin &Sean. *thanks for my chocolate cake Sean! Earvin was going to take his permit (driving) test. Unfortunately, there were gazilion of people at the DMV so they decided to just come back some other day. So we left. Earvin went home, Sean met up with his friend/s &I met up with my friends. I hung out with my favorite, Inocencio sisters today. Pia, Maxine, &Kim. And my love Ane was there too &so was my friend Sean. We just ate at Chick fil A where Kim works. We went to get movies after (Quarantine &Role Models). Then hung out at the Inocencio's house &watched Quarantine. We ended up drinking beer, some vodka mixed with mountain dew. Sean kinda got buzzed (did I spell that right? - im dumb, sorry. lol). And I, myself was speaking my mind out a little too much. Lol. But no one really drink too much since it was a weekday. We were supposed to go ice skating, but oh well. As long as we were all together. It's always so much fun hanging out with those people. I swear, they are my favorite people to kick it with. It's like, no matter what we do, the day always ends amazzzaaaazzziiinngg. lol. Thanks for everything everyone! Pia &Kay/Maxine, thanks for my yogurt =)

ei my bestfriend &I LOVE YOU, MAN

Ive been looking forward to this day! My BESTFRiEND MAXiNE is here!!! She has her Spring Break so she's going to be down here for a week. Short, but better than nothing. Yay!!! So we hung out later on the day. We went to see I Love you Man. This movie was hilarious. Totally thumbs up! It was the second time I watched it. Well the first time I had to leave to rescue a friend. So today I watched it again with Maxine, Kim, Ivan, Sean, Mariel &Earvin. We watched it, brought Mariel home (since it's a sch0ol day the next day, she had to be home). Then we went to my house to eat &watch a little bit of T.V. Sean &Earvin had to leave as well since Sean had to take Earvin home. Me, Maxine, Kim &Ivan hung out few more minutes at our house. Then we took Ivan home &I slept over Maxine's. Gah I miss her. I definitely recommend you watch this movie =)

*Call me when you a get a mo...
*You're a whore Peter!

ei Morongo =)

Last night, I hung out with my friends David, Sarah, etc... for a couple of hours since they were kicking it at a house near me. I just tagged along since I really didn't have anything to do. Then my friend Sean called me &it was the time when I decided to go home. ButI really didn't wanna be home yet since it was a Saturday night. So we thought of going to Morongo in Cabazon (i think i spelled that right). First time ever! it was great. it was interesting. there's always a first time &today i experienced going to Morongo. haha. my friend, SEAN turned 18 &he decided he wanted to do things he can do now legally. For instance, buying a cigarette (even though he doesnt smoke - which is good), buying/renting porn, going to a 18+ casino, etc... So tonight we went to Casino for few hours. He played on the slots &actually won. Yay! It was a short night for me. But it was good.

ei What A Day

Today my friendliness was challenged. I was so angry at my friends for the whole day. Since we planned something &they ended up doing something else. The thing is, they have planned it before too. But what was decided was that they weren't going to stay there for a while. That they were going to meet us later on the night. I spent money &time and they all just went to waste. It really got me mad because I have done nothing but good to them. Well, I just hated how I felt so UNappreciated. But at the end of the night, I got a phone call from one of them that needed a ride because I supposed their 'driver' was drunk. I wouldn't have cared. I would have said, "wait till he's sober then go or find another ride." But I was really worried that they wouldn't get home safe. So I left in the middle of my movie to get him. After driving him home, I came back &picked up 2 more &drove them home as well. Then I went home, later the 'driver' called me &he said he was really dizzy &that he left the party. Since my house was close to where they were drinking, I offered him to come to my house so he can sober up &feel better before driving home. Gah! So then I just went on life. Whatever. THANK GOODNESS KiM was with me throughout the day. She really made me feel so much better. She made my day great &she really calmed me down. Thanks Kim. You know i love you =)

ei email from the ex ...

So I guess the time came. My friends (especially guy friends) have always told me that it will hit my ex. That the time will come that he will realized that what he did to me wasn't something I deserved. So last night I received an email. At the begining of the message he was just telling me that he was doing okay &asking how I have been. He even told me he's still with the girl he chose over me. But after few sentences, he told me he wants me back. That he hasn't stopped thinking about me ever since I left him. That everything he does reminds him of me. That I am in his head from morning till night. He said when he told me that I was the BEST thing that has ever happened to him, he meant it &that he still thinks I am the best thing that ever happened to him. He said I was the most amazing girlfriend a man could ever ask for. He even quoted a part of the song we used to sing to each other. "Grow Old With You". Psh, he's so full of it. And don't worry, I didn't buy it. I didn't even think of giving him another chance for a second. No, no, no way. But yeah, that's it.

ei THANK YYOOUUU

I would like to take this opportunity
to THANK very special people in my life
My PARENTS, who have always been there for me
my SiSTER CAT &her husband MiKE,
my SiSTERS ANDREA &ANGELiCA,
my COUSiNS that are way too many too mention
but especially thanks to...
*not in order
King,
Pam,
Ria,
Kiel,
Eula,
Melissa,
Madeleen,
Karlo,
Pao
my BEST, BEST FRiEND
MAXiNE KAY iNOCENCiO,
my "sisters" (pretty much my bestfriends too),
PiA ANGELi &KiM CLAUDiA iNOCENCiO
my other BESTFRiEND
BRiAN BLACHER
my CLOSEST, most awesome FRiENDS
that mean so much to me:
*not in order
Joey Cindass,
Ivan Lee,
Lambert Azcona,
Mariel Enriquez,
Dantae Villareal,
David Coyle,
Chad Cendejas
and these great friends too:
*not in order
Jimmy Moufarej,
Ola,
Robert Herrera,
Nikki,
Ane Chua,
Mario,
Julius Lopez,
Brandon,
Martin-i,
Felicia,
Patrick Dy-An,
Brian Lisiono
my Philippines friends that never lost touch with me,
always going extra mile to talk to me:
*not in order
Bhez-Christian Leveriza,
Bhebest-Ernesto Daria,
Edward Dizon,
Kuya-Andre Raymundo,
Joshua Villareal,
Mark Lazarro,
Jethro,
Deniel Penafuerte,
Anaks - Norman, Gloribel, Mhelai,
Marinela Pedron,
Paul Reyes,
Andrea Luarca,
Piolo Autajay,
Andrew Dizon,
Jeccai,
Don Paraguya,
Sharon,
Nash,
Kelly Valencia,
Daddy Krystof,
Kuya Jhong,
My angel Loy,
My sis May Bernardino,
Adel Cruz,
Marvin Arroyo,
Mommy Rose Anne,
Ate Elena Reyes,
Kuya Owell,
Chriz Anne,
...
&so many more...
i am very THANKFUL to have you all in my life
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU

ei a very UNLUCKY day

it was a long dayy
i went to Hollywood
where i used to work at
going back,
instead of having a 45 minute drive
i was stuck in traffic for 3 hours
because there were several accidents on the freeway
then i got back home
since my i ended my old phone contract
i had to get a new one
so i did. i bought a new $200 phone
went back home &met up with friends
we watched Katt Williams,
sang karaoke, had drinks
it was great... things were awesome
and then i had to drive a friend home
so i did. heading back,
one friend said he wanted to drive my car
so i let him, i pulled over
&we switched drivers
i didn't even get out of the car
i just moved over &my friend got out
then we got back to my house
as soon as i got in the house,
i wondered where the FUCK my phone was
had my friends call it
&it went straight to the voicemail
right then i knew, im fckn screwed
we looked everywhere for the longest time
&even till now im still looking
but i already know it's gone
*sigh. what did i do ...?
what did i do to deserve such BAD LUCK?

ei BAD thoughts

i really shouldn't be thinking about you
i don't get it.. i try to keep myself busy
and most of the time, i am
but then the night time comes
and there's the hardest part of my day
its the time of the day i do NOT look forward to
it's because its when i get to be ALONE i become SAD.
i think. and think... and right now,
YOU are the only person in my head
people have told me this is wrong
you HURT me. you hurt me bad
you played with my heart
lied to me, fooled me, used me
we lived together, slept on the same bed
watched with the same TV,
ate at the same table,
showered in the same bathroom
we had everything going well
&one random night,
you told me WE SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER
i laughed &assumed you were kidding
&i really wished you were
but then you told me you still think about her
that you still dream about her
that you weren't at all over her
&that YOU LOVE US BOTH
i couldn't believe what i was hearing
but i couldn't take anymore
so i didn't bother to listen
i got up &packed my things
everything we had ended
and i know this is WRONG
i should stop. stop thinking about you
but i can't. you're in my head
by the time i wake up,
&until that second i close my eyes to sleep
i lay down on my bed. stare at the ceiling
realize how LONELY MY LiFE iS
that even having my AMAZiNG FRiENDS
it's still you that i want. its always you
i wanna see you. i wanna hug you
i wanna talk to you. i wanna be where you are
the only thing is, YOU'VE GOT HER
&so you've erased me in your mind
&it hurts, yet here i am...
still waiting for you
thinking about you...
dreaming about you...
but i guess it's time to move on
it's definitely not easy at all
&i know it'll take time
but i'm ready...
&i know i got friends to help me =)

ei MY BESTFRiiEND

i miss you
i miss you so much
i know this is gonna sound bad
but the truth is,
i miss you more at this time
its the time where i NEED you
you have spoiled me
by always being there for me
&by making me feel never alone
you were just the BEST friend
anyone could ever ask for
i appreciate you
MAXiNE KAY iNOCENCiO
if i don't make u feel that enough,
i want to let you know that i really do
you mean so much to me
&i don't know what im gonna be without you
i mean it!!! you mean a LOT to me
thank you for everything
i'm sorry for all my shortcomings
i know i'm not the best friend you've ever had
but to me you are
THANK YOU, I'M SORRY
i MiSS YOU
&i LOVE YOU VERY MUCH

ei Last day of February

Today was a great day
I hung out with few friends
my closest friends
Kim, Lambert, Pia, Jay, David, Victor
even saw Ivan &Mariel for a little bit
&met my lil brothers GF, Sarah
theater movie, house movie, karaoke, etc...
simple things we did
yet had an amazing time
thanks everyone. thanks

:]