Ei MOViNG ON

ei i would be lying if i say that I am happy now. But I know it's time for me to move on. it's hard and painful. but it's what i should do to avoid getting hurt again. i just didn't expect to get here. i guess i've always thought you could make me happy. but i'm done pretending things are okay between us. im over feeding my brain great things about you just so i don't decide to end whatever we had. but what we had was all that was there for you. you didn't want a future with me at all, and because of that i feel like crap. im no good. im not good enough to be your so called "girl." so this is my goodbye and that im moving on. once again, i am hurt. and once again, i am stronger.

Ei DES SCREAMS FOR H E L P !

ei im usually not a praying woman, but if you are up there, please save me, SUPERMAN!

Ei PAST iS PAST

ei i really think that people should put their past on the side. Bringing it back just makes it a lot harder to move on. I mean, this is my personal thought. It's good that you look back and think so that you will be more prepared for situations that require you to be strong(er). But focus on the present. The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.

Ei WHAT iF?

ei how do you express things you say when you're afraid? When you're scared that it will damage what you have. That it will ruin the "relationship"? Do you just move on life pretending there is absolutely nothing in your mind bugging you? Or do you say things out loud? Do you speak your mind? What do you do?

ei and when you do say what you want to say. What happens if it doesn't come out good? What if something that starts out well slowly fades away because of that? What happens if that becomes the reason something so good ends? Yea, what happens?

Ei LAMBANOG NiGHT

ei last night was awesome. i just went to watch my friend's, RYAN bball game at cal Poly. i went with PiA &LiZ. the game ended, we went to jack for some food. dropped off LiZ then went to my friends apartment. there was me, PiA, RYAN, JAMES, JORDAN, CJ (?). talked outside, ate our food from jack, had a great laugh about my life/death tatoo. haha. then JAMES suggested we should take some shots of his Lambanog, its a Filipino Coconut Wine with 45%alcohol. So we did. I only had a few shots, but the boys had a lot. PiA had to leave early that night. she had plans for the rest of the evening. but i stayed to kick it with the guys. since i had some shots, i said everything that was in my head. i remember singing loud, giving PiA a lapdance, talking about random shit. haha. we even played truth or dare with dirty questions. &boy i loved it. haha. i found out a lot of things from the men's perspective. haha. RYAN &his threesome with JORDAN. whoa. that was hilarious. haha. Next thing you knew, it was after 3am. RYAN had to leave. i honestly couldn't drive cause i had such a headache. so dumb. so i stayed &crashed there for the night. man, i wish for more nights like that. great times, great times :D

ei so now im home. its Friday todaii. Yay! Hookah with KiM, CODY &EARViN later. then PAM's party with Hawaiin theme. looking forward to it!

Ei A CUT ON MY LiP &PARKiNG TiCKET

ei went to the park with my girl friend, PiA
5 other friends came later on
RYAN, GLENN, JAMES, JEFF &JORDAN
we were there for about an hour or two
fed the ducks, talked, chilled, we had some alcohol =)
played ninja! haha. it was awesome
then we went on our separate ways (haha)
got ready to hit a bar in downtown fullerton
met up with them at Florentines
tagged along PiA's cool friends KEViN &JERRY
waited in line for an hour (my 1st time waiting)
got in. danced. got some drinks
danced more, JAMES hit my lip, ouch. haha
it was an accident people! lol
bled for a lilttle bit, went outside for air
got back in. danced. RYAN got us drinks (thank you!)
danced some more. left the bar
dropped off people, went to crest
ended up sleeping there. but didn't plan to
was gonna leave after 5am
went to say bye to JAMES
he pulled me in the bed,
&i fell asleep. next thing i know,
it was almost 12 noon! ggaahh
haha. said bye to everyone.
walked to my car
got a parking ticket for parking half way on the red line
yea yea i know. parking was horrible
but blah. im not gonna let it ruin my day
or my week. life goes on =)

ei so, good day everyone! haha

Ei PiLiPiNO AMERiCAN CULTURAL NiGHT

ei during the day, i spent about an hour or two at ontario mills mall with KiM looking for her prom dress. oh my. she tried few dresses on and she looked so beautiful, just like always. she found the dress she wanted and we headed back to my house. late on that night, we saw this long ass play performed by Cal Poly students. it was great. it was probably the longest play i've ever seen, but it kept me entertained. so it was worth it. my friend DAViD was the main character. he did a really great job! thumb's up!!! so anyway, the show pretty much ended a little after 11pm. we chatted with people outside, met cool new people and then left. me &kim met up with pia at their house. ate dinner. then me &pia went to hang out with our friends, ROBERT, ALEX and this guy we just met last night, RYAN. we ended up spending the night ove since it was about 4 in the morning and we were too sleepy to drive back home. came home this morning. and today, it's PACQUiAO and HATTON's fight. go pacman! haha. goodluck :D